In our lifetime we all have at least once faced rejection, whether that’s a job related, social related or love related rejection. Rejection can be experienced in both large and small scale. No matter what rejection is still rejection in any situation, and it hurts the same way in all situations.
Although some types of rejection may be more difficult to cope with than others, the thing that makes the difference though it’s how we personally deal with rejection and how much we allow it affect our life from that point and on. If you hold on to the rejection and don’t let it go as the time goes by, you are putting yourself in a state of a constant denial and that will do a lot of harm to you in the long run, both psychologically, mentally as well as physically.
What rejection can do to you:
Depression
Trauma
Anxiety & stress
Abuse
Changes in our hormones
Body ache
Heartache
Brain ruminate
Get into a state of withdrawal:
Brain fogginess
Issues with digestion
Increases anger
Jealousy
Sadness
The 5 stages of rejection:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Why rejection hurt so much – even after a long time :
As human being we like to be included, feel loved, noticed and socialize. Thus when one of this situations are missing from our life we lose our confidence.
For example: A person might feel rejected after a significant other ends a relationship. A child who has few or no friends may feel rejected by peers. An individual who was given up for adoption may also experience feelings of rejection.
Studies using MRI brain scan have concluded that when experiencing emotional pain the same region of our brain is activates with that of when experiencing a physical pain. But the difference that was noted is that our brain is more keen when it comes to re-live a rejection rather than when trying to recall a painful physical injury.
For example: Try to recall the pain you felt when you broke your leg or your arm, mehh right? Nothing much, in other words, that memory alone won’t elicit physical pain, but thing of when you recall a rejection that occurred in your life, it will immediately feel exactly like it felt when the incident occurred. Our brain prioritizes rejection experiences because we are social animals who live in "tribes”.
How to deal with rejection:
Don’t blame yourself: It is understandable and normal to seek for the reason why we were rejected. But turning the blamed to us, won’t do any better. We have to understand that there is a simple and clear reason for the rejection. There are so many possible reasons for rejection and even the most attractive, smartest, accomplished, and likable people get rejected. It’s not always about you—and it’s unfair to blame yourself or take responsibility for things that were out of your control or to assume you did something wrong.
Allow yourself to feel: We often think that its better to hide our emotions, because we might feel that showing our emotions make us look vulnerable and weak, but most of the time that action of ours does more harm to us rather than good. In such cases it better to allow ourselves feel and process those emotions.
Put yourself out there: It is common for people who have just got through a rejection to feel the need to be alone and isolate themselves, but its important to remember that if we are willing to move on to be at least a little bit social. Surround yourself with people, try to enjoy life, hung out with people who bust your confidence, your mood and make you feel accepted and loved.
Self care and self love: It’s so important to love and have a positive relationship with yourself. Doing so will help you be more resilient with future instances of rejection. In situations when you feel doubting yourself , take a piece of paper and a pen and start honestly noted down all the good traits you have and you are proud of accomplishing no matter how big or small they are. What’s more allow yourself to be treated, go and get a facial treatment, or a body massage, go to a spa, for girls – go and get your hair and nails done, go and enroll yourself to a new hobby that you always wished to learn. There are so many things you can do.
That's All She Wrote
Laura Melkonian
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